Therapy for Grief and Fear: Parenting a Neurodivergent Child
You were so happy to bring your little bundle of joy home. You're still happy to have them around. But, as time went on, a voice in the back of your head said that something was different than it “should” be. You talked to the doctors and then went to the appointments. There were so many appointments and they took so long to complete.
You hope that the voice in the back of your head is wrong and then it turns out: it was right. You start to grieve another life.
Grief Over Things Not Being How They’re “Supposed to Be”
Experiencing grief when given a diagnosis is normal. The sadness that life isn’t going to be the way that you thought it would be is overwhelming. Don’t get me wrong, you love your child and everything that makes them who they are. But there is still a part of you that grieves what you thought you would have. And then, you feel bad about that because you love the person you do have. It’s a balance.
The sadness comes at every milestone, every time things are different than you had pictured. Your heart breaks when your child struggles, you wish so much that things were easier for them. And as your child gets older, you realize that no matter what, you are drawing your own map, and you are scared about what will happen as they get older. Will your child be happy as an adult and what will happen when I am gone?
Is it my fault?
You are constantly questioning if things are somehow your fault; if you lived in the wrong place or if you ate the wrong food. You are worried that you aren’t doing something you could be doing to make things better. There is fear that your medically complex or neurodivergent child is vulnerable to the world. The fear and sadness keep you up at night and follow you around like a shadow.
How Therapy for Grief Can Help Parents of Neurodivergent Children
Through therapy for grief, we will face your fears and come to terms with the worst and best possible scenarios. You will get to a point where you feel as though you can handle any possibility. As a grief counselor, I will help you to let go of the blame and move forward. I will help you be confident in knowing that you are doing everything you can. I will help you to see who your child is and what they are capable of now and what they may be capable of in the future. We will work together so you can trust your gut, but also find their sweet spot of independence and only give the support that they need. Together, we will process the grief that has been such a big part of your life. We will figure out how not to survive your life, but to joyfully live. I am a non-judgemental ear that can help you to feel better. I will help you to focus on everyone’s strengths.
The sadness doesn't have to define you. You will move forward with a nod to the sadness, and place it where it belongs.
Parents of Neurodivergent Children: Start Therapy for Grief in Sacramento, CA
This journey to parenting a neurodivergent child is not easy, it can feel like you’re grieving another life. But you don’t have to do it alone. I can help you wherever you are in the state with online therapy in California. Getting support for this lonely experience can be stressful, but you and your child are worth it. Let’s get started finding your joy and energy again. Start with these steps:
Fill out a contact form to get connected with me.
Read about my approach to therapy for parents of neurodivergent children.
Exercise your grief appropriately and find joy again.
Other Services for Mothers of Neurodivergent Kids in Sacramento, CA
Here at my Sacramento, CA-based therapy practice, I understand how complex it is to be a mother of a neurodivergent child. If your relationships are suffering, I can help with individual therapy for relationship issues. If you’re feeling isolated in this experience, I offer support for that too. We also all need community! So, I offer group therapy if you’re looking more specifically for a special needs parent support group or an ADHD parent support group. Please reach out so we can get you connected with the caring, specialized support you need, here.