Therapy for Parental Burnout (for parents of neurodivergent children)
Therapeutic support to help you get back to yourself without abandoning everyone else
It feels like you have been doing and being everything for everyone for so long.
You’ve never felt like there was anything you could put down otherwise you would have. But it feels like you are getting to the point where you aren’t going to have a choice.
You’re having a hard time getting out of bed. You don’t feel like the person you used to be. You have memories of cheerfully making dinner and planting a garden in the yard. Of having the energy to do so much more than the absolute basics.
Now, things are falling through the cracks. They might just be completely falling apart and you aren’t sure how to stop it.
You know you’ve been doing too much for years.
But you’ve never felt like you had a choice. Who else understands your kid(s)?
Every time you’ve tried to get help either it hasn’t been available or it’s been a disaster.
You feel so alone, you have no adult connections who understand and anytime you try, the other parents don’t understand your child or the things that they need,
You receive judgement and blame.
You feel stuck and you don’t know how to get out of this cycle.
You constantly feel overwhelmed as a parent of a neurodivergent child.
The hardest part is it feels like you never know when there will be a bad day. Not just for you but for your child.
It feels like you have been bracing for years for the days where they’re struggling. They seem to happen out of the blue.
So you’re never are able to relax because you have to be on call, you have to be ready when they need you because it feels like no one else will.
The thing is now you’re having bad days. It feels like all the skills that used to help you get through the hard times are gone.
Either they no longer work or you just don’t know how you used to access them.
Even some of the basic self-care things don’t seem to happen every day. It’s like you’re able to muster up the energy to make sure your child get’s what they need and make sure they are happy.
Some days that’s all you can do and other days you don’t even have that.
When no one understands your day to day life, well meaning support misses the mark
When you reach out, even to people who should understand, they’re either struggling themselves or they just don’t get it.
The relationships other parents can depend on contribute to your isolation. Extended family are more complicated than they should be and leave you feeling even less understood.
Other parents, even parents of the kids in your child’s classes just aren’t available. They have so much going on there just isn’t time to support each other or create connection.
There are other layers to parental burnout
For some parents the burnout in parenting and taking care of others isn’t all that it is.
There might be other factors that are making things worse. Some of these factors might be:
Grief
Anxiety
Self-blame
Depression
Relationship problems
Your own Neurodivergence
Perimenopause/menopause
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Stress from interacting with the school system
These layers can make parental burnout that much worse. It’s important to figure out how to pull yourself out of this fog so you can get back to the person that you were before (or maybe better).
That’s where therapy for parental burnout comes in…
As your therapist that understands what it’s like to be both neurodivergent and a parent of a neurodivergent child, I will help you get back to yourself. We will start by identifying factors that are making things worse and help you to intervene with those as needed.
We’ll help you get back to a point where you’re caring for your own needs as well as everyone else’s.
In order to do that, we’ll start by helping you find ways to refill your cup, that work with your reality and what parenting looks like for you.
We’ll work on finding yourself again, outside of being a parent.
This is a marathon not a sprint and if you lose yourself in the process everyone loses.
You and I will problem solve finding help so that you can take a deep breath now and then.
We’ll also help you to reconnect with yourself and your relationships so that you no longer feel isolated and alone.
So that you have some emotional support even if it isn’t perfect.
You don’t have to do this on your own…
As a parent who has experienced burn out I know how exhausting and overwhelming it feels. I know what it feels like to lack support and worry about leaving your child with others when no one else understands them.
At the same time, I know what it feels like on the other side and that there is a way to pull yourself out of it. You can be there to support yourself and your child long term.
You can be present for yourself and your child in the way that both of you need.
How to start therapy for you parental burnout as a parent of a neurodivergent child
When you have an adhder or an autistic child the weight of the world can feel like the weight of the world. Even if your child moves well in the world it doesn’t mean they don’t struggle and that supporting them doesn’t take a lot our of you.
As a parent burnout can hit really hard and can be really difficult to work yourself out of. It’s not like you can just stop doing everything you do.
If you are ready to start therapy with someone who understands and can help, schedule an appointment here.
Frequently Asked Questions
-
While I do see some clients once a month in person in Roseville, most of the work I do is online. This means that if you are located outside of the Sacramento/Roseville area we can work together online through a hippa compliant telehealth program.
-
Parental burnout is when you have spent so much of your energy taking care of everyone else that you are no longer able to do it. You might struggle to do all of the things that you are used to doing. You might struggle to be patient with your children the way you used to.
If you are also struggling with neurodivergent burnout you might also have lost the ability to do things you used to be able to do. Your ability to mask and push yourself to do things that are hard has disappeared. For example, you might find that you can’t force yourself to make phone calls anymore or you are struggling to make meals the way you did in the past.
-
Burnout can be really difficult to pull yourself out of. Especially if it feels like there is no task that you can put down. Sometimes it takes an outside person to help us figure out how to move forward.